It Ain't All Glitz and Glamour

Today is Monday. It’s our day off. It’s our much needed and deserved day off. Tomorrow we go back to the theatre for a 9-hour day where we will add the band to the show and do our Wandelprobe; It literally translates from German as "walk" or "stroll" and "rehearsal," indicating a rehearsal where the actors move around the stage. 

So today, in preparation for our long day tomorrow and then leading into our final tech and invited dress rehearsal on Wednesday afternoon/evening, I am staying in for the night at my hotel at the lovely Hyatt Place in Franklin/Cool Springs. I am doing laundry. And prepping dinner in the mini-fridge I store all my food and the 7” electric skillet I bought from Walmart for $13.71 so I can prepare hot food for the 5 weeks I am here.

It’s not glamorous. It’s not glitz. It’s quite lonely.

Tonight I am also going down a dark hole that, I imagine, many actors who might be reading this travel down: Uncertainty. Second-guessing. Self-critiquing. It’s not a great place to visit, but here we are.

I have been very lucky in my time with Jersey Boys that I have got to witness some pretty extraordinary people playing Tommy DeVito. The three that come to mind most are Deven May, Christian Hoff and Michael Cunio. 

For me, Deven’s ‘Tommy’ was held all in his eyes. His glare. His connection. It was haunting to act beside him and have him look at you, really look at you, with those eyes. 

Christian’s ‘Tommy’ was swagger. He was so fucking cool and he inhabited that role so deeply. I remember so vividly how he would hold his guitar - again, cool. Even when he played the character at his most flawed, he was still someone you wanted to please. As he becomes the true antagonist in the show, you still are rooting for him. 

Cunio’s ‘Tommy’ was sexy; His dancing, his guitar playing, the way the lines were spoken - it made sense that the character “kept buying apartments to keep his girlfriends in”. Every woman wanted him and every man wanted to be him. He oozed this power that he had over everyone.

And so here we are, 18 years after first getting cast in the show, I am finally contracted as Tommy DeVito - this perfectly flawed, misunderstood and sculpted character. And I worry that I won’t have the presence that these other incredible actors had. Knowing that from the first downbeat of the show, I have to be focused and engaged. And it doesn’t stop until he gets sent to Vegas in the middle of Act Two. The relationship he has with Frankie or Nick or Bob is so difficult and layered and the way he manipulates and spins webs and ultimately, falls apart is so precisely and beautifully written by Rick and Marshall, that it makes me sick thinking that I won’t do it justice. Kicking myself for a missed line during rehearsal or a misstep in the choreography. 

So tomorrow, I will wandelprobe. And I will find those moments I cherished from the other actors who played this before me, but I will embrace it as my own. I will never be Deven or Christian or Cunio or any of the others who have played Tommy. But then again, none of them are me. I need to remember that that’s worth something as well. And maybe, to someone, I am an actor that they remember and wish they could emulate in some way. 

I am so thankful for this cast, crew and creative staff lifting me up as much as they are. It means a great deal, especially on nights like tonight. 

Come see our show May 1-18.