quickly... (Dec.1)
i can't sleep...again. i have been away from Sarah and Toby the dog for two weeks now and i don't think i have gone to sleep before 2am since i got back to NYC...not from partying or going out, but truly from sheer boredom and missing my wife.
i am laying here in an 85% empty apartment and i hate this bed and these shitty pillows and i am so exhausted that i can't fall asleep.
i want to quickly make something clear to everyone who posted on the JB boards or who have sent me emails; there is no new "project" or show that i am running to after my last show on Dec.7. i am running home, back to Michigan, to have our baby amongst family and our closest friends - a support team of dozens upon dozens that will help shower her with love and a great sense of family.
performing on a Broadway stage has been the highlight of my life - it is what i dreamed of as a child and what i worked so hard for when i went to college for music theatre. mere "thanks" would not be enough to Des, Sergio, Ron, Richard, the Dodgers, Tara Rubin...and the list goes on and on...for giving me the chance first with the national tour and then to be asked to go to the "big show" and i am forever grateful to this show for the opportunities it has presented to me as well as affording me the chance to provide and take care of my family.
but again, it goes back to that word: family. all of you that read this, all of you that come by the stage door sometimes dozens upon dozens of times - as strange as that may sometimes seem - know the true meaning of that word. we talk about it in the show and it rings true night after night. and as i leave the stage door, you will see me, without fail, holding a cell phone to my ear to immediately talk to Sarah...my family...
and that's why i am leaving. yes, this is a shit time to leave one of the only Broadway shows that has legs and is not folding up in the next 3 months and yes, the Michigan econmony is in the toilet...
but i get to go home. home to my amazing wife who has traveled with me for two years with constant support and home to Toby the Dog who finally gets to feel grass under his paws again. and right around January 19, my daughter will be born into a community of unbelievable and loving grandparents and a network of friends and family that she will never believe!
now i'm just rambling.
well maybe this blog is due for some rambling a little now and then in this next week. chances are, come Dec.7, i will shut it down for good anyway.
in any event, thank you for the emails and thank you for the comments. thank you for braving the cold and rain just to say hello and now, goodbye, at the stage door.
saying goodbye...
i played Gaudio this past Saturday night and Sunday matinee - Sebastian wasn't feeling great. it was weird in the diner scene with Jarrod this afternoon thinking this will probably be the last time i get to play the part. i love the role of Bob. i love the character arc he takes. i love singing "Cry For Me" with three other amazing actors and hearing that blend. and i love that in my head, by parting my hair to the right, i think it makes me look younger.
i would literally give Dom Nolfi $200 cash to take a show off this week so i can play Tommy one last time. other than playong Roy Cohn in Angels in America, Tommy DeVito is the best role i have ever played on stage. the power and sheer terror of having to hold the show in the palm of your hand for the first 30 minutes and then the slow defeat he has to face in the sitdown scene is just...well i'm just so proud that i got to perform it a handful of times.
okay - 2:23am - i need to try and sleep.
i am laying here in an 85% empty apartment and i hate this bed and these shitty pillows and i am so exhausted that i can't fall asleep.
i want to quickly make something clear to everyone who posted on the JB boards or who have sent me emails; there is no new "project" or show that i am running to after my last show on Dec.7. i am running home, back to Michigan, to have our baby amongst family and our closest friends - a support team of dozens upon dozens that will help shower her with love and a great sense of family.
performing on a Broadway stage has been the highlight of my life - it is what i dreamed of as a child and what i worked so hard for when i went to college for music theatre. mere "thanks" would not be enough to Des, Sergio, Ron, Richard, the Dodgers, Tara Rubin...and the list goes on and on...for giving me the chance first with the national tour and then to be asked to go to the "big show" and i am forever grateful to this show for the opportunities it has presented to me as well as affording me the chance to provide and take care of my family.
but again, it goes back to that word: family. all of you that read this, all of you that come by the stage door sometimes dozens upon dozens of times - as strange as that may sometimes seem - know the true meaning of that word. we talk about it in the show and it rings true night after night. and as i leave the stage door, you will see me, without fail, holding a cell phone to my ear to immediately talk to Sarah...my family...
and that's why i am leaving. yes, this is a shit time to leave one of the only Broadway shows that has legs and is not folding up in the next 3 months and yes, the Michigan econmony is in the toilet...
but i get to go home. home to my amazing wife who has traveled with me for two years with constant support and home to Toby the Dog who finally gets to feel grass under his paws again. and right around January 19, my daughter will be born into a community of unbelievable and loving grandparents and a network of friends and family that she will never believe!
now i'm just rambling.
well maybe this blog is due for some rambling a little now and then in this next week. chances are, come Dec.7, i will shut it down for good anyway.
in any event, thank you for the emails and thank you for the comments. thank you for braving the cold and rain just to say hello and now, goodbye, at the stage door.
saying goodbye...
i played Gaudio this past Saturday night and Sunday matinee - Sebastian wasn't feeling great. it was weird in the diner scene with Jarrod this afternoon thinking this will probably be the last time i get to play the part. i love the role of Bob. i love the character arc he takes. i love singing "Cry For Me" with three other amazing actors and hearing that blend. and i love that in my head, by parting my hair to the right, i think it makes me look younger.
i would literally give Dom Nolfi $200 cash to take a show off this week so i can play Tommy one last time. other than playong Roy Cohn in Angels in America, Tommy DeVito is the best role i have ever played on stage. the power and sheer terror of having to hold the show in the palm of your hand for the first 30 minutes and then the slow defeat he has to face in the sitdown scene is just...well i'm just so proud that i got to perform it a handful of times.
okay - 2:23am - i need to try and sleep.
posted by The Guter at 11/30/2008 10:53:00 PM
4 Comments:
Thank you for the update and the clarification as to why you are leaving.
I just want to say: You will be missed, you gave it your all and your family was with you every step of the way.
I understand why you are leaving the show: Family and Fatherhood. So chuffed for you upon being a dad for the first time. Your new daughter is so lucky to have you and Sarah as her parents. From meeting you in SF, you are so full of it--LOVE! You are going to love your daughter and your daughter will love YOU! You two are going to have so much fun together.
Your family has been so proud and so supportive along the way. Sarah especially. She left her big time corporate job to be with you and lucky for her, to be able to work on the road with you working the concession stand. She was with you every step of the way on the road and in NYC. Your other family members have been there for you. Wow, your dad and his lady were there when you made your debut on a Broadway stage as well as surprising you there at curtain call! Other family members have commented on your blog.
Sad to learn you will be closing down your blog, I will miss you and reading your blog. I had hoped that you would continue it by announcing your daughter's arrival into the world and then stop updating it, you and Sarah will be busy.
Again, thank you for you, your art, your performances, and for sharing your experiences with us on the road and on Broadway. I wish you continued success and happiness on your life's journey. Please do not be a stranger. Hope to hear more from you professionally, you are such a talent and a gift! Break a leg and God speed. Blessed Be!
Eric, this is so touching and so beautifully written; thanks for the update. I saw you twice in LA and many, many times in NYC. I don't quite recall when you originated the gorilla mask shtick, but each time I any Hank do it, I think of you.
My fondest memory of you and Sarah, though, dates back to opening night in LA. We met a few nights prior and you thanked me for a small wedding gift as if I had gifted you the Hope Diamond. But on opening night, with wall-to-wall people in front of the theatre, I was approached by a beautiful young lady whom I did not recognize. "Excuse me, are you Howard", she queried? Luckily, I didn't follow my first instinct, which was to run (she would have overtaken me anyway), instead answering, "Yes, I am." "I'm Sarah," she announced, "and Eric and I want to thank you for the wonderful wedding gift."
My question to you, Eric, is how did you describe me that Sarah picked me out so quickly among hundreds of people? I never did buy Sarah's explanation that she went around asking everyone, "Excuse me, are you Howard? Are you Howard? etc. etc."
I do wish you'd reconsider keeping your Blog semi-updated. As with our wonderful Jennifer Naimo, you have so many fans and friends that would love to get to know how you, Sarah, and your baby daughter are doing. All the best, Eric. We'll all miss you. Warmly, Howard.
Dearest Eric - I just finished reading your latest Blog (Hopefully not your last) I was always hoping that Sarah would have her baby in Michigan - I was there to welcome Sarah into the world & hoped I would be able to do the same when her child was born - Thanks to your decision to leave the show & return to family & friends I will be able to do so - I was so worried that the two of you would be alone in NY when the baby was born - You know you both have a wonderful support system - both of your families are anxiously awaiting the birth of our LITTLE PRINCESS
Love ,
Bubi
Dearest son of mine, I have been your #1 fan since your first "acting role" as Toto in the Wizard of Oz when you were just 5 years old! You were great then and you're great now! Although Jeff and I live on the other side of the country from you, Sarah and our soon-to-be granddaughter, you will all forever be in our hearts. You've done a great job these last two years in Jersey Boys and I couldn't be happier that you will have such a wonderful support system in Michigan. I wish we lived geographically closer so we could hold your beautiful daughter in our arms on a regular basis. I guess we'll just have to "eat her up" every time we do see her. I love you very much and as always, wish you a long, happy and healthy life.
Love, Mama xxooxx
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